I wrote this back in 2007 as a friendship crumbled. Almost 3 years later an attempt was made to try again. For a time it seemed to work, but over the past 6 months has slowly and then sharply in the past 24 hrs imploded again. Looking now at the words they still ring true today as they did 5 years ago. I don’t want this to be the case but ‘toxic’ friends as a fellow blogger once called them sometimes have to be purged, despite the wish otherwise. I have had enough…note to self, you have had enough!!!!
You have been there for me. I thank you.
And I have shared our life; families; and friends, with you.
But it’s time for us to part. And sadly this is for certain. This is for sure.
Because this is no longer about my relationship with someone, I thought to have known………. But it’s about how much respect you have for my happiness……It’s about how much power your words have had over what I think and how I feel, but no longer.
This one way- street is tiresome, with its boxes, mostly empty I suspect, of lives, friends and life.
You have hurt me and you’ve deeply hurt the person I care for. And there’s nothing you can do to repair whatever friendship we had left…that I can think of. You said you needed a moment, and then……………. “I’m not sure what I need to do, but when I do and it’s done, everything will be better.” Remember?
It’s my connections with you that have prevented me from being a happier person of late. Waiting these last weeks for the “bad penny to return”, for your “spare minute” to materialize, for you not to be too “busy”.
I know you. I know what you will do. You, I am certain will not try to contact me and tell me things to try to save it. Why do I know this? Because of the many times that I’ve said how I felt for you, about you and our friendship before; you have done the same thing. Ignored and absconded. Played your usual hand of cards, blind to the anticipated predictability, so certain of your place……so sad.
Plead and wait, not anymore, I have neither the inclination or will and you haven’t the integrity or the balls. The dramas you create elsewhere will sustain you, for a bit, and text’s real or fictional will keep newbie’s with you…for a little while perhaps. I however respect myself, my man, my son more than that.
If this makes me a bad friend, then so be it, but you know more than I, of such betrayal. Think of us, and the ever growing list of ‘others’, whose lives you have abandoned…all their wrong doing of course!
Wear your hazard warning with pride, its only right you know. So very wrong to do what you do; and remember as you have often said, ‘what goes around comes around’.
You will be fine without me. I will in time I guess, be a happier without you;
and, loose this sense of pity.
Oh the memories will persist, the photos and a sense of longing, remain.
Nevertheless, sadly, it’s goodbye to you. Goodbye forever
© Vincent Creelan 2007